Tu or vous

Since 2012 French government forms no longer offer Mademoiselle: Madame is used for every woman, as Monsieur is for every man.

French has two words for you. Tu is the familiar one, used for a single person you know well. Vous is used for a single person you address politely, and also for any group, familiar or not. Choosing between them is part of every conversation, and the verb changes with the choice: tu es, vous êtes (you are); tu as, vous avez (you have). This unit covers when to use each, how people move from one to the other, and the titles Madame and Monsieur that often go with vous.

When to use tu

Tu is for family, friends, children and animals, and among young people it is normal from the first meeting: students, teenagers and people in their twenties usually say tu to one another straight away. Many workplaces, especially in technology, startups and creative jobs, also use tu between colleagues. Adults speak to children with tu, but children are expected to say vous to adults they do not know, such as a teacher or a shopkeeper.

When to use vous

Vous is the default with any adult you do not know: in shops and restaurants, with officials, with people older than you, with your doctor, and at first with colleagues and clients. Using tu where vous is expected can sound rude or overly familiar, so when in doubt, start with vous. It is much easier to be invited to switch to tu than to recover from using tu too early. Vous is also the only choice for more than one person: talking to two friends you say vous, without any formality at all.

Switching to tu

French has verbs for the two styles: tutoyer means to say tu, and vouvoyer to say vous. Moving from vous to tu is usually suggested by the older or more senior person, with a question such as On peut se tutoyer ? (Shall we say tu?) or Tu peux me tutoyer (You can call me tu). Once two people have switched, going back to vous would feel cold. For a Korean speaker the decision feels familiar: it is close to the Korean choice between polite jondaenmal and casual banmal, though French has only two levels and switches more readily among younger people.

Madame, Monsieur and Mademoiselle

Monsieur (sir, Mr, abbreviated M.) and Madame (madam, Mrs, Ms, abbreviated Mme) are added to greetings and thanks to make them polite: Bonjour, Monsieur. Merci, Madame. Unlike English, French uses them without a surname, so Bonjour, Madame on its own is complete and polite. In a letter or email to a stranger you write Madame, Monsieur, as the opening when you do not know who will read it.