Tú or usted?

Spanish has two words for you when talking to one person, and the choice changes the verb: tú eres, usted es.

English has one word for you. Spanish has two for talking to one person: tú, which is informal, and usted, which is formal. Speakers of French or German will recognise the idea from tu and vous or du and Sie. The choice affects the verb and several small words, so it is worth getting used to early.

Tú: friends, family, children

Use tú with friends, family, children and classmates, and in many places with people your own age in casual settings. Its verb forms usually end in s: tú eres (you are), tú estás (you are, a state), ¿Cómo te llamas? (What is your name?).

Usted: respect and distance

Use usted with older people you do not know well, officials, clients and anyone you want to treat with respect. Although it means you, usted takes the same verb form as he and she: usted es, usted está, ¿Cómo se llama usted? It is often written Ud. or Vd. The RAE explains why the verb looks like he or she: usted comes from vuestra merced, your grace, which was grammatically a third person, like asking Does your grace wish to sit?

Habits vary by country, region and family. When in doubt, start with usted. If the other person wants to switch, they may say Puedes tutearme (you can call me tú), or simply start using tú with you. The verb tutear means to address someone as tú.

More than one person

In the plural, all of Latin America, the Canary Islands and western Andalusia use ustedes for everyone, friends and strangers alike. Most of Spain uses vosotros (vosotras for a group of women) for friends and family, and keeps ustedes for formal situations. So a group of friends hears ¿Cómo estáis? in Madrid and ¿Cómo están? in Mexico City.

BackgroundSome countries have a third way to say you to one person. In Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay people say vos instead of tú, with its own verb forms: vos sos (you are), vos tenés (you have), ¿Cómo te llamás? The RAE describes this voseo as fully accepted in educated speech in the River Plate countries, written as well as spoken. It also appears, alongside tú, in much of Central America and in other areas. You do not need to produce vos at first, but recognising it saves a lot of confusion in Buenos Aires or Montevideo.

The small words around the verb change too. With tú, your is tu and the object pronoun is te: tu nombre, ¿Te ayudo? (shall I help you?). With usted, your is su and the pronoun is le: su nombre, ¿Le ayudo?

Quick test: would you use a first name and joke with this person? Then tú. Would you add señor or señora? Then usted.

The grey hints under each line are rough English respellings, with the stressed syllable in capitals. Treat them as a first guess and copy the recording, which uses a voice from Spain.

¿Cómo estás? · How are you? (tú)
¿Cómo está usted? · How are you? (usted)
¿Cómo te llamas? · What is your name? (tú)
¿Cómo se llama usted? · What is your name? (usted)
Puedes tutearme. · You can call me tú.
¿Cómo estáis, chicos? · How are you, guys? (Spain)
¿Cómo están ustedes? · How are you all?
Vos sos de Buenos Aires. · You are from Buenos Aires. (vos)

tú	you (informal, one person)
usted	you (formal, one person)
vosotros	you all (informal, Spain)
ustedes	you all (formal in Spain; all uses in Latin America)
vos	you (informal, Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay)
tú eres	you are (tú)
usted es	you are (usted)
tutear	to address someone as tú
¿Cómo te llamas?	What is your name? (tú)
¿Cómo se llama usted?	What is your name? (usted)
señor	sir, Mr
señora	madam, Mrs, Ms

Buenas tardes. ¿Cómo se llama usted? Me llamo Elena Ruiz. ¿Y usted? Soy Tomás. Encantado. Puedes tutearme, Tomás. ¡Vale, gracias, Elena!

Which word do you use with a close friend?
- tú
- usted
- ustedes
Which word do you use with an older stranger?
- usted
- tú
- vosotros
Which verb form goes with usted?
- usted es
- usted eres
- usted sois
Usted comes from which older phrase?
- vuestra merced
- vos otros
- tu señor
In Mexico, how do you address a group of friends?
- ustedes
- vosotros
- vos
In Madrid, how do you address a group of friends?
- vosotros
- ustedes
- vos
Where is vos the general informal you?
- Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay
- Spain and Mexico
- Cuba and Puerto Rico
What does vos sos mean?
- you are
- we are
- they are
You are not sure whether to use tú or usted. What is safer?
- usted
- tú
- vos
What does Puedes tutearme mean?
- You can call me tú
- You must use usted
- Please speak slowly
Type the usual written abbreviation of usted (two letters plus a dot).
Is ¿Cómo te llamas? formal or informal?
- informal (tú)
- formal (usted)
- plural

Key points

Tú = informal; usted = formal, with he/she verb forms.
Plural: ustedes everywhere; vosotros for friends in most of Spain.
Vos replaces tú in Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay.